Thursday, August 4, 2011

Coconut Water

So here's the scene...

I'm sauntering through Fresh & Easy dressed in basketball shorts, gym shoes, and a tank top--looking infinitely more health conscious than I actually am. While perusing my options of canned tuna fish, a dude in his mid-30's walks up, glances in my basket, and asks, "Hey, do you mind if I ask you a question? Why do you drink so much of that coconut juice? Is it, like, really good for you?"

I glance down at the six blue bottles of Zico coconut water filling more than sixty-five percent of my carrying basket, think for a moment, and reply, "I dunno. I've read that it's really good for you. I feel like it helps me with hydration...and stuff."

Let me stop right here and tell you that I am a liar, or at least a misrepresenter of facts. If I were telling the God's honest truth, I should've replied, "I've read that it's really good for hydration, not in a medical magazine or on a health blog, but right here on the carton where it says: Natural. Replenish. Rehydrate."

"Gotcha," he replies, "I've been reading a lot about it too. See, my mom has Alzheimers, and I was reading this list of foods that are good for different parts of the body. I guess coconut is really good for your brain."

"Oh yeah!" I declare, as if this was something I'd also read and merely forgotten, then, "I guess that makes sense. I mean, I didn't used to notice it in the stores. And now everybody's got these big displays of coconut water everywhere.* I guess a lot of new studies have come out about how it's really good for you."

He nods, "Yeah. Since the coconut kinda looks like your head, I think what's inside of it is probably good for your brain."

It is at this point in the conversation that I suddenly don't mind offering this guy full disclosure.

"Well, I gotta be honest with you," and I give him my best leveling-with-ya face, "I only started doing coconut water cuz a couple weeks ago I had an evening of heavy drinking and a buddy of mine made me guzzle some at the end of the night. I woke up the next morning and didn't even have a hangover."

"Hmm," he nods while processing this piece of information, "I just read it on that list of foods that are good for different parts of the body. Can't remember where I saw the list though."

"I guess I'll have to Google it."


We both stand there for a couple moments, surveying the contents of each other's baskets. Me trying to imagine what his mother might look like and what his relationship with her is like now that she has Alzheimers; him most likely wondering if I am an alcoholic based on the sheer volume of "hangover cure" I am taking into stock.** At long last he heads off to the bread aisle and I mosey over to the check-out line where I thank the good Lord that I didn't end the conversation by telling him that in addition to being good for hydration, coconut water tastes delicious when spiked with a healthy pour of mango-flavored vodka.

*What a product conscious consumer I make!

**It should be noted that I've been battling a cold all week. Since I've "read so much" on the hydrating properties of coconut water, I decided that stocking up was the best way for me to follow my doctor's demands to get plenty of fluids. I only consume alcohol socially, responsibly, and on the weekends.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I feel compelled to go buy Coconut Water. In bulk. (someone needs to inquire about blog sponsorship.)

...also, as I read your post, I kept thinking how I 'discovered' coconut water... because of an article about Madonna and what she drinks sometimes.... but then I actually did look it up, and discovered it's better than Gatorade for replacing electrolytes after a workout... and subsequently seeing those same displays everywhere... I ~then~ thought: "Madonna Was Right!"