Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Things I Learned On My Summer Vacation

Maybe nobody noticed, but I haven't posted a blog in a week and a half. Long story short, I spent the 4th of July weekend in Philadelphia on a family vacation...followed by six days in New York City with more family and friends. Here are the top lessons I learned while I was gone:

iPhone Autocorrect SUCKS. When your boss's wife is in Italy and emailing you at 9:00 AM her time (3:00 AM your time), you should wait until you're coherent enough to respond. I always proofread my emails, but somehow my brain read this: I'm in NYC right now but will send it out as soon as I'm back on Monday.

Here's what I sent instead:

Her response the next day: Okay. But don't "fertile" out too much.

Thank God she has a sense of humor.

Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark presents the strongest case ever for a Facebook "dislike" button. I'm writing this the day after I saw the $75 milllion "spectacle" on Broadway. If you put a gun to my head and asked me to hum the tune of a single song in the whole damn musical, I honestly don't think I could do it. I remember titles of songs. One was called "Rise Above," and I remember enjoying the number. However, every time I try to hum it, I start singing Glinda's part from "What Is This Feeling?" in Wicked.* Same goes for Green Goblin's "Freak Like Me Needs Company." I only think of Adina Howard.

Mind you, I was going into this with an open mind. I love spectacle. I'm also a fan of Bono and The Edge...and I used to watch the show's star (Reeve Carney) perform on Wednesday nights at Molly Malone's in Los Angeles**. If anyone was going to enjoy this production...it would be me. I mean, in all fairness...the sets were uncanny. Also, the wire work felt like a living, breathing version of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Yet despite those elements, I was still completely bored out of my mind.

It should be noted that earlier in the week I saw The Book of Mormon. Which has one of the most memorable soundtracks...well...ever. It totally lives up to its hype, but I'm going to stop talking about it now because I don't want to throw out any spoilers.

No matter how diverse your musical tastes ar
e, there is always something new to be discovered in the most unlikely of places. On Saturday evening I joined my friends Laura and Christi at the Weeksville Community Center to see some woman whose name I couldn't pronounce. Beforehand, I read that she had 10 Grammys or something like that. The concert was in this beautiful community garden. Turns out, Me'shell Ndegéocello rocked my face off. Here's a quick video clip of the opening of her performance. Twenty seconds in I turned my camera off and just enjoyed the show (one of my mid-year's resolutions).

At two in the morning, all bets are off.
A few things I remember from my waking moments at 2:00 AM... Running into a friend from high school who I haven't seen (literally) in ten years. Watching my sister Bethany attempt to steal a fluffy dog from a creepy Russian on a bicycle. Divulging some of my deepest secrets in a shady Manhattan bar while some stranger across the room snapped candid photos of my buddy and me...next time don't use a flash, idiot. Dancing my ass off on top of a bar. And don't even get me started on the subway...

At four in the morning, all bets are really off. Yeah, I'd expand on this some more...if I remembered what was going every night I stayed up until 4:00 AM.

Sleepless in Seattle is a freakin' lie. I have a soft spot for Nora Ephron...specifically when she's working with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. But when I accompanied my sister, brother-in-law, and the most adorable niece in the world (see images below for proof) to the Empire State Building, I learned that Ms. Ephron wasn't just asking me to suspend my disbelief in regards to a man falling in love with his cross-country stalker (or in regards to Rosie O'Donnell being a straight woman). She was majorly speeding up time when Tom and Meg meet on the roof of the Empire State Building.

The line to get up top is a leg-numbing 90 minute wait. And maybe things were different in a pre-9/11 world...but you don't just walk around the 86th floor with absolutely NO ONE else around.

iPhone Games with Friends are perfect time wasters when you're stuck in a long line.
Between Words with Friends, Chess with Friends, and now Hanging with Friends, I managed to maintain my sanity in situations just like the one mentioned above.

iPhone Games with Friends are perfect battery wasters as well. Maybe it was the cutesy cartoon graphics, but I feel like every time I used Hanging with Friends my battery life would decrease by 20%. Oh, and don't even get me started on the energy draining power of the Facebook app.

Harry Potter poster displays make the coolest subway stops. These shitty cell phone photos do NOT give them justice...but use your imagination people...just like you did when you read those seven amazing books.

And last but not least...

Why hasn't there been a buddy road trip movie centered around the Google Street View car? I'd rather see Ryan Reynolds and Jason Bateman trapped in a car together than switching bodies.


And that's just getting started!! I could fill countless more blog posts about this vacation: There was the 4th of July Spectacular outside of the Philadelphia Museum of the Arts where I lost my shit over The Roots, my mom lost her shit over Earth Wind & Fire, and my sister lost her shit over Boyz II Men (all performing live!). There was also the beauty of The Met...where I witnessed a stunning Alexander McQueen exhibit, accidentally photobombed about 45 tourist pictures in ancient Egypt, and learned the value of "a little splash of cran." Finally, and I can't stress this enough, the movie Jaws is still pretty freaking amazing if you can witness it in a crowded movie theater (thanks IFC Center!!).

*"So I will riiiiiiise above it!"

**Yep. I just dropped an "I knew 'em when..."

1 comment:

RC said...

Love the autocorrect.

Agreed, not interested in seeing Reynolds and Bateman switch bodies at all - that's kind of wierd.