Friday, March 27, 2009

I HATE YOU, CHRIS COLUMBUS...More 'Wild Things,' Please.

This week saw the debut of two movie trailers I have been anxiously anticipating, based on two books that I totally love. Soo... Do you want the bad news or the good news first?

Seems bad news has been in copious supply these days, so I'll hit you with that...

I LOVE YOU, BETH COOPER

Until I'm given some other reason to be excited about it, the film adaption of Larry Doyle's brilliant, side-splitting, heart touching novel (which is a great send-up of John Hughes' teen comedies) will be referred to as I Hate You, Chris Columbus. This trailer makes the film look so incredibly generic. The dude playing The Coove gets on my nerves. And while I originally thought Hayden Panettiere was an excellent choice for the titular character, the trailer makes her seem incredibly one dimensional (which, you'll find if you read the book, is the exact opposite of Beth Cooper).


I know it sounds like I'm reviewing an entire movie based on 2 minutes of material, but isn't that what trailers are for these days?

Now, on to happier news...

WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE

All I can say is I was blown away by this trailer. After the ori
ginal stories of all the reshoots, and constant delays, I was really worried that this movie was going to be a disaster. This trailer won me over, 100%. It looks fun and emotional. Incredibly endearing. The Wild Things look awesome. Max looks like a perfect casting choice. Oh, and the music! I believe the music makes this feel like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind for all ages. Spike Jonze (it seems) has taken genius source material in Maurice Sendak's picture book and given it wings.

I know it's a just trailer. But, I have to admit that this is the first trailer for a movie this year that has me geniunely excited.* I guess I have to wait through the humdrum summer months before finding out if Where the Wild Things Are lives up to my initial excitement.

*I will admit that the most recent Star Trek trailers are growing on me. And, it almost goes without saying, but the new Pixar movie will probably be pretty good.

Friday, March 20, 2009

I gotta hand it to you DETAILS Magazine...

...you just made my week.

When I turned 26 (last November, for those of you who aren't yet friends with me on Facebook), I got a little depressed. All of a sudden it dawned me that I was no longer eligible to be photographed in one of People Magazine's "25 Most Influential People Under 25." Vain? Yes. Shallow? Incredibly. However, I still felt down in the dumps. The fact that I would no longer have an opportunity to be folded into a magazine sandwiched somewhere between Rihanna and Christopher Mintz-Plasse (that's McLovin for those of you who don't actually know his name) kinda wore on me.

I attribute twenty-five percent of this depression to what I'd like to call "big fish in a small pond syndrome." I grew up in a small town. It was pretty easy to get your name in the Caloosa Belle (look, it's online now...sorta) for just about anything. That kind of atmosphere makes people (like myself) think that they are special. Such is not the case.

The other seventy-five percent of this depression I attribute to Steven Spielberg. That's right, my dinosaur reanimating idol is the reason I was so fucking depressed. That guy directed his first episode of Night Gallery at the tender young age of 23. Twenty-fucking-three!! Wanna know how old he was when he completed his first movie, Duel? Twenty-five!! When I turned 26, I briefly felt like my career was over. I know that's stupid, but I'm just being honest with myself here.

Everyone else who is currently reading this while sitting at their desks, rolling calls, planning meetings, and ordering freshly roasted, sliced turkey sandwiches on whole grain, whole wheat with lettuce, light mayo, and a sliver of pickle for a boss who will wash it all down with a Diet Coke and some blow has no right to roll their eyes and mutter the word "douchebag" while reading my innermost confessions. You know you've all thought it, too.

Well, I offer you hope...

DETAILS Magazine recently rolled out another one of their "Mavericks Issues." Surprisingly, our favorite "mavericks" from last year are not featured. The folks who are featured (THANK GOD!!) are all in their thirties. That's right my late-twenty-something friends, unless you aspire to be the next T-Pain (24), you have Dustin Lance Black (34), Demitri Martin (35), Seth MacFarlane (35), The Lonely Island guys (Andy 30, Akiva 31, Jorma 32), and the creators of Twitter (collective average: 34) to hold up as the new standard. Sure, Spielberg finished Jaws before he was thirty, but that was in the 70's...when bell bottoms were considered a good idea. Studios could give money to a twenty-five year old nerd and see what kind of movie he'd turn out because movies didn't cost $175 million to make back then!

On a side note, I also realized that DETAILS Magazine is basically training wheels for "straight" guys to come out of the closet and admit they are gay. Sure, A-Rod's on the cover which promises some great articles about sports. But, on the inside you have him shirtless kissing a mirror (just think about the image for a second), an artical on identical twin gay porn stars, and an essay by Augusten Burroughs. Just a few more naughty cologne ads and you might as well change your subscription over to DNA Magazine.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Platinum Dunes Gets "Stupid"

Halloween is about to get a little stupid.

Hot off the success of their Friday the 13th reboot, Platinum Dunes recently snapped up the rights to yet another horror classic. Partners Michael Bay, Brad Fuller and Andrew Form have been set by Touchstone to create a new franchise based on the 1991 film Ernest Scared Stupid.

Commercial director PES has been tapped to helm project about lovable dunce Ernest P. Worrell (made famous by the late Jim Varney) who mistakenly awakens an ancient evil and must save his town's children from a soul sucking troll named Trantor. No casting choices have been made yet, but rumors have placed Chace Crawford and Drake Bell on a short list to put on the denim vest.

"We aren't creating a literal adaptation," Fuller commented,"We're mostly concerned with preserving the iconography, while giving the franchise a complete face lift."

Production is slated for late-Spring 2012, with a Halloween release date.

Dunes currently has projects slated through 2013, including reboots of A Nightmare on Elm Street, Rosemary's Baby, and The Birds.

PES is repped by Czar in the US and Independent in the UK.

When asked what drew Platinum Dunes to the project, Form replied, "Well, we'd optioned everything else available. Why the fuck not?"