Sunday, January 4, 2009

My TOTALLY BADASS New Year's Resolution

No, your eyes do not deceive you. That is a picture of a velociraptor wearing Joker make-up. And that, my friends, is my New Year's resolution. That's right, my slogan for this year is: "2009: TOTALLY BADASS."

I decided that 2008 was LAME-O!! I have determined that 2009 shall not be so.

And how!!

1. I will stay out till LAST CALL whenever possible. No more jetting early. In fact, I will plan on locating all underground, after-hours Japanese whiskey bars in the greater Los Angeles area, just so last call never has to end.

2. I will travel. Spontaneously. Hands down, my two best weekends of 2008 were spent in New York City (with my East Coast posse) and in San Francisco (with my good buddy Matt). This year, I plan on visiting Chicago and Seattle. I also want to spend a weekend in the woods (possibly Joshua Tree).

3. I will watch fewer movies, and more television. Mad Men, The Wire, Dexter, Battlestar Galactica, Weeds, Rome, Big Love, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia... I have been missing out on the Second Golden Age of Television. And why? So I can sit through shitty movies like EAGLE EYE, VANTAGE POINT, and THE HAPPENING?!?! What is wrong with me? 2009 is the year I correct this mistake. The next time I'm tempted to go see a movie that I know will be mediocre, I'm buying another television series on iTunes. (FYI...I am already fiercely dedicated to 30 Rock and South Park, which is why they aren't listed above.)

4. I will WRITE. 2009 is the year that I finish writing all the screenplays I started in 2008. Red Hot White Trash: The Saga of Bethany the Crack Whore and Burn in Hell, Mark Moore!! will both be finished this year. I also plan to update this blog regularly. And (fingers crossed) launch another "memoirs" blog about my experiences as a homeschooler growing up in Southwest Florida.

5. I will be ready for the zombie apocalypse. I've heard it on good authority that 2009 is the year that the undead will strike back. While I fully trust Comrade Barrack Obama to have my back in the impending doom, I must be prepared to go it alone. You never know what can happen when the zombies attack. I will stock pile water, weapons, and extra copies of my totally badass screenplays in case the zombies need some good reading material.


Nathan said...

Is it possible to post a resolution about doing all of this in reverse? Because I need fewer zombies in my life. And less bad-assery.

Kyle Leaman said...

Could you imagine a night that began with an episode of Mad Men, only to be interuppted by your new Chicago friend who is there to take you to the best Japanese Whiskey bar in the Windy City. You stay there till last call and on the way home get the inspiration to write. Once back to your hotel, your attacked and killed by a hoard of raging zombies. That would be most awesome!

danast said...

All these sounds like good plans. I need to catch up on most of the shows you've listed and I too wish to travel. Spontaneously. Let me know if you need a partner in crime.

ChillwithWill said...

Let me clarify... I am not saying that zombie apocalypse is something I necessarily WANT to happen. I'm just saying that when it DOES happen, I will be ready.

Peter Chan said...

New York representin'... Holla!

Bethany said...

Wow, your New Year's resolutions are so much more badass than mine! Make sure that Bethany the Crack Whore has a good resolution. I will live vicariously through that.

Anonymous said...

I fully endorse you watching more of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, if only to better understand my hometown.