No, your eyes do not deceive you. That is a picture of a velociraptor wearing Joker make-up. And that, my friends, is my New Year's resolution. That's right, my slogan for this year is: "2009: TOTALLY BADASS."
I decided that 2008 was LAME-O!! I have determined that 2009 shall not be so.
1. I will stay out till LAST CALL whenever possible. No more jetting early. In fact, I will plan on locating all underground, after-hours Japanese whiskey bars in the greater Los Angeles area, just so last call never has to end.
2. I will travel. Spontaneously. Hands down, my two best weekends of 2008 were spent in New York City (with my East Coast posse) and in San Francisco (with my good buddy Matt). This year, I plan on visiting Chicago and Seattle. I also want to spend a weekend in the woods (possibly Joshua Tree).
3. I will watch fewer movies, and more television. Mad Men, The Wire, Dexter, Battlestar Galactica, Weeds, Rome, Big Love, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia... I have been missing out on the Second Golden Age of Television. And why? So I can sit through shitty movies like EAGLE EYE, VANTAGE POINT, and THE HAPPENING?!?! What is wrong with me? 2009 is the year I correct this mistake. The next time I'm tempted to go see a movie that I know will be mediocre, I'm buying another television series on iTunes. (FYI...I am already fiercely dedicated to 30 Rock and South Park, which is why they aren't listed above.)
4. I will WRITE. 2009 is the year that I finish writing all the screenplays I started in 2008. Red Hot White Trash: The Saga of Bethany the Crack Whore and Burn in Hell, Mark Moore!! will both be finished this year. I also plan to update this blog regularly. And (fingers crossed) launch another "memoirs" blog about my experiences as a homeschooler growing up in Southwest Florida.
5. I will be ready for the zombie apocalypse. I've heard it on good authority that 2009 is the year that the undead will strike back. While I fully trust Comrade Barrack Obama to have my back in the impending doom, I must be prepared to go it alone. You never know what can happen when the zombies attack. I will stock pile water, weapons, and extra copies of my totally badass screenplays in case the zombies need some good reading material.
Will: The Movie
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