Wednesday, December 31, 2008

I wish Clint Eastwood were my grandfather...or drinking buddy.

I saw Clint Eastwood's new movie tonight. No, not the one where Angelina Jolie weeps for a shot at a Best Actress nomination, the other one where he's the star. A couple (okay, four) friends warned me that the movie only works because of Clint's performance, and the rest of the actors feel like they were cast out of a Lifetime television movie. For the most part, I agree.

However, you could've cast Clint opposite the cast of the new '90210,' Kirk Cameron, or The Wiggles and this movie still would've kicked ass. Basically, Clint's got two speeds...angry, and PISSED. One emotes a barrage of racial slurs, and the other simply causes him to growl. And boy, can that man growl.

Sitting in 'Gran Torino,' I kept wishing that Hollywood would stop trying to revive the wrong out of date franchises. Between Rambo, Rocky Balboa, Live Free or Die Hard, and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (which I know we all felt the same way about), it's obvious the execs are trying to make money off of really, really bad ideas that cheapen the original product. What we need is Clint Eastwood directing himself as DIRTY FUCKIN' HARRY. In fact, I think Dirty Fuckin' Harry would be a totally fitting title for the film. It doesn't matter how bad the script is (he could be tracking aliens for all I care), Clint Eastwood will make the movie MESMERIZING. I guaran-fuckin-tee it. Just give the man something to growl at, and it will be phenomenal.

However, it looks like instead of Dirty Harry, we would rather waste our time giving Eddie Murphy (and the illustrious Bret Ratner) more unnecessary reels of celluloid. Sometimes this world can be a cruel, cruel place.

4 comments:

Nathan said...

Wow...Will getting all potty-mouthed. Guess Clint really does have an effect on people...

danast said...

Well said, sir.

Kyle Leaman said...

My suggestion would be for a Tarantino directed Dirty Harry film

ChillwithWill said...

I'm on board for a Tarantino version of 'Dirty Harry.' Can you imagine the dialogue he'd give Harry Callahan?

It'd be trippy, but sooo good.